Believe the Best

Honor may be best expressed through words and deeds but it begins in the mind.  It greatly matters what we think about our husbands.  What I think about David determines whether my words and actions will honor him.  What we believe about our husbands can make or break our marriages.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a common theme in the marriages I’ve grown to admire.  The spouses seem to be intentional about interpreting each other a positive light. The wives speak about their husbands with respect.  The husbands find ways to honor their wives. It’s clear they treasure and appreciate their partner.  In short, they believe the best about each other and it shows.

Turns out there’s some research to back up this observation.  Author and longtime Gallup poll associate Marcus Buckingham surveyed thousands of married couples to discover the traits at the core of good marriages.  He found something intriguing. The common thread running through happy marriages was this: In the most successful marriages, each partner rated the other person higher than that person rated him or herself.

I take this to mean that as a wife, it’s important for me to value and respect David, believing in him even more than he believes in himself.  I can choose how and what I think.  Do I respect him?  Appreciate him?  Do I focus on his strengths and downplay his weaknesses? Do I take time to reflect on the many ways he sacrifices for our family?  Am I there for him to support and strengthen him, especially when he feels weak?  In short, do I believe the best about him?